


I am Here.

by stormie92



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: All the Kings horses, And all the kingsmen ;), Anger, Death, Eggsy - Freeform, F/M, Flowers, Harry Hart x Reader - Freeform, Hate, I am still here, I will find you, Kingsman the Golden Circle, London, Love, Mentions of Suicide, Merlin - Freeform, Multi, Mystery, Never gone, Promises, harry hart - Freeform, kingsman - Freeform, kingsman the secret service
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-22 17:57:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21306194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormie92/pseuds/stormie92
Summary: A threat made you fake your suicide to protect Kingsman and Harry Hart from death. Now, Harry who is heartbroken, vows to find the truth because you left no note and it makes no sense. You, being smart and slightly smarter than Merlin, made a software that is untraceable and that no one, not even the great magician Merlin would find, so that you could stay up to speed with what was happening at Kingsman. Upon hearing the promise Harry made, you decide that maybe, just maybe, you should try and find ways to let Harry know"I am here".Yet . . . is it safe to do so? Or is the threat still out there?Watching . . .Waiting . . .And knowing . .  .
Relationships: Galahad x Reader, Galahad x you, Harry Hart x reader, Harry Hart x you, Harry x Merlin, eggsy x harry
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	1. A Simple Promise

**Author's Note:**

> Mentions of suicide but no details of how.

Raindrops slid down Harry’s face as he stood next to the grave that held your body. You had taken your own life just a week ago. No one knew why you did it. You were fine, right? You were happy . . . right? Harry thanked the rain for falling because it covered up the tears he was shedding. It was a gloomy day, the skies a dark grey, light rain for now but the sky was warning the people outside that it would blow open soon. Harry touched your tombstone, shivering at the cold stone, and spoke in a low voice “We do not understand any of this, Y/N. I do not understand any of this. Why did you do this? Y/N, I. . .” his voice cracked as he lowered himself to the wet ground. “I want you back” he placed three different colored roses down by your stone. One red rose, one white rose and one lavender rose. Harry wished he could tell you about the lavender rose . . . the meaning . . . it was too late now. He loved being a Kingsman agent, he truly did, but he cursed it at this moment or at least cursed the rules. In his heart he wished he was more like Eggsy and said screw the rules so that he could have had a life with you. Yet, he was too into his work to do so. “So into the rules that you couldn’t cherish what you had,” he thought to himself. Slowly, he stood up and touched your headstone once more.   
“I am truly sorry . . . Y/N, I will always love you. I just wish things were different and that you were here again. I will return to you” he sighed as he turned and headed towards the cab that remained parked by the sidewalk. 

“To the shop, please” was all Harry could say. His mind was still busy trying to process you being gone, your suicide and how nothing made sense anymore. He told himself that his training requires him to show no emotion. Those things happen, both good and bad. This was bad. And he wanted to use that training yet his mind and heart were at war. His mind wanted to focus on Kingsman, on his work, to remember that this will pass. Harry’s heart though, pure, ached and wanted peace of any kind. His heart, Harry’s heart, would always beat for you. No matter how many years would pass it would always be yours. It would always hurt in ways that people would never know. Yes, Harry thought, the pain will calm down over time and not be as noticeable, but it would still be there. Locked away in one of the valves as though it was a closet.

Harry’s heart and mind bickered through the whole ride back to the shop. Finally, he decided to do what he had not done in quite some time. Listen to his heart. His mind became at peace with the idea because deep in his brain, his amygdala was screaming and hurting just like his heart. His decision was final. He would listen to his heart from here on out. Thanking his driver, he got out and walked towards the doors of the shop. Before entering he stopped to look behind him. He felt strange . . . almost like someone was there. No one was.  
Harry, whispering to the wind, made a promise to you. “I will find the truth, Y/N”. 

The wind was a messenger. Harry’s whisper, his promise, made its way to you. You were sitting in an old flat somewhere in downtown London using a laptop and a ghost router. It was a disgusting day, again. Skies were dark and gloomy. The rain poured down on all of London and you felt as though the angels knew about how Harry felt, so they began to cry. A loud bang drew your attention back to your surroundings. You jumped out of the chair you were sitting in, grabbed a knife and quietly walked to where the sound came from. Softly and carefully opening the door, you looked around only to see no one, not even a bird that sometimes comes in through windows. A sigh of relief escaped your lips while you turned on your heels to head back out. It was then that you heard the bang again behind you. You groaned as you figured out where it was coming from . . . the window. Before you shut it, you looked out at the buildings before you. Desolate. Most were empty except for the few that housed the homeless or drug addicts. Turning back to go grab the laptop and head to the room you slept in, you heard a beep echo through the place. That beep meant that information from Kingsman was being transferred. Before the events that led to your “suicide” happened, you hacked in with a program that not even Merlin could find or crack so that you would know everything that was happening. And yes, this included video feed and voice from the glasses too. Your heart felt like someone had just punched you and started to squeeze it. The window slammed opened again causing you to jump. It was then that the message came. A sharp pain coursed through your heart and you felt chills cover your body. “Harry . . .” you cried out. Running, you grabbed your laptop and forcefully turned it towards you. His voice came through the system you had set up and so did the video feed. He was at your grave and kneeling in his fancy suit, placing roses on your grave. Despite the rain, you noticed he was crying. Crying . . . for you.   
“I am truly sorry . . . Y/N, I will always love you” he said.   
Your chest ached at those words you so longed to hear from him. For as long as you could remember you loved him too. Hell, you thought, the first time you met him you loved him. He never told you though how he truly felt just as you never told him. Kingsman rules were to not date or get married or have children . . . Harry was never one to break many rules. And you wanted to be just like him, so you held everything inside. 

“I just wish things were different and that you were here again” his voice broke as did your heart.   
“Harry, I’m right here” you began to feel your body heat up and your eyes burn. 

The video switched to him in the cab heading back to Kingsman. And then you saw him stand outside, looking around at his surroundings. His promise “I will find the truth” came through just as the feed randomly stopped. You held your breath for what seemed like a lifetime. Shaking your head, tears now openly falling, you cried “The truth is I am still here. I had to do this to keep you safe. I never really left though!” 

Pacing the room now you wanted to call Kingsman. Talk to Harry, Merlin or even Eggsy. “Surprise! I’m not actually dead.” 

Before you did any reaching out you had to make sure that the current threat was handled. Yet there was a small part of you that was tired of always doing things by the book. You wanted Harry to know the truth but knew you couldn’t be so straightforward. Remembering the roses on your grave you went and looked up what the colors meant. 

Red meant love and respect. 

White meant purity, worthiness, and respect.

Lavender meant that the person fell in love with at first sight. 

A sad, longing smile crossed your face at the last one. He felt the same as you did. If only you or he had had the courage to tell the other. 

You looked up more meanings to rose and other flowers.   
“Yellow roses,” you said out loud to yourself “mean welcome back and that could work?” 

Nodding, you wrote “Yellow roses” on a piece of paper. That is when it hit you . . . a conversation you and Harry had while sharing a hotel room on a mission. He saw you reading a book on Greek Myths, asked you about it and the two of you talked for hours about the myths. Harry had brought up the tale of Apollo and Hyacinthus . . . how Apollo accidentally killed Hyacinthus and that from Hyacinthus’s blood, he made the flower hyacinth in his lovers’ memory. It was considered one of the most beautiful flowers to the Greeks, even considering the tale of how it was made. You stood up, grabbed a hoodie and few other accessories to head out. The nearest flower shop would be closing soon and you needed those flowers now, not later.


	2. Harry is not Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is finding flowers and butterflies all over that have meanings. Are they from you? Are they a prank? Or is he just losing his mind slowly? 
> 
> Only time will tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Japanese folklore, there is a tale about a man named Takahama who loved a girl so much that when she died and was buried, he could not live without being close to her. He left a promising future to be close to her grave so he could always take care of it. He ended up getting sick and a white butterfly landed on him while he rested in bed. He took his last breath and the butterfly flew off. A child (a family member) followed it and saw that it landed on the woman's grave. He told his mother what he saw and she told him that it was the spirit of the woman he loved. He had not come to take care of her grave and she was worried, so she came to look in on him. The butterfly, the spirit of the lover, would not leave until his soul joined hers in the afterlife. A tale of selfless love.
> 
> Edelweiss represents devotion.

Harry woke up early again from yet another nightmare. Gasping for air, studying his room and wiping away sweat he rose slowly from his bed. He was horrified that he had the same dream again. When he would wake up from that nightmare he would always feel slightly off for hours. It was as though someone or something sinister was there in his house with him. 

Eyes, everywhere, were gazing upon him and he hated the feeling of them watching him. He felt unsafe . . . he felt as though he would be hurt. Then in his nightmare, he would catch a glimpse of you, barely alive on a cold floor and covered in blood. He would always run to you and lift you into his arms to try and get you to safety where he could help you. Yet, he could never find anywhere safe. You would start to lose consciousness and before you closed your eyes for eternal sleep, you’d say into Harry’s ear “You’re safe now”. You would fade from his arms, the many eyes would appear again and he would panic. Voices echoing from all around the room, overlapping, were too chaotic for him to handle but he made out the sentence “For you, for you, for you” and the words “we watch, we watch, we watch”. Before he would wake up in terror, he would look down at his arms where he once carried you and still see your blood all over him, staining his clothes and tainting his skin. 

Harry wearily walked into the kitchen and started to make himself a cup of tea. He sat down at his table, sipping his beverage and opening up a book on butterflies called “The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Butterflies”. It was a book you had bought him one evening after finishing a mission. You had seen it in the window of an old bookstore, smiled and ran inside to grab it. Before gifting it to him you had wrote a little note inside the cover. 

“To Harry,   
I saw this in a very quaint bookstore and knew it was destiny. I took a look inside it; the yellow monarch is probably one of my favorites. And the black and white one, I cannot remember its name but it is lovely. Anyway, my darling Harry, I hope that you enjoy this book and whenever you open it or see a certain butterfly, you think of me . . . because I will always think of you when I see any butterflies. 

Always,  
Y/N”

Harry smiled while he touched your writing “My dearest Y/N, I do”.   
A knocking ran through Harry’s house. He glanced at the clock while wondering who could possibly be at his place this late. Or who would be rude enough to come over unannounced, even Eggsy had learned better. He walked to the door, opened it and groaned when he saw that no one was there. “Maybe they got an address mixed” he thought. Before closing the door something caught his eye. He looked down at the doorstep and bent over to pick up what was resting on it. It was one yellow rose.   
“Odd” was all he could say. Harry rushed inside locking the door and bolted to his computer to view the feed from his hidden cameras. Angrily, he sighed. The cameras were static at that time when someone knocked. He tried to do what Merlin taught a while ago to clear up static, pixels and all of that but nothing worked. He turned off the computer, picked up the yellow rose and leaned back in his chair to study it. “Who did this? Why? Wrong place?” his mind came up with millions of questions and barely any answers. Chills ran down his spine however when he remembered the flowers he had placed on your grave. “They were roses” he said to himself “Someone must have been watching me. They brought this here. Why though? Is it a warning or . . .” he rubbed the bridge of his nose and then his eyes because they started to blur from both being tired and wanting to cry. Harry’s brain screamed “What does yellow mean? Flowers and colors have meaning, yes? The ones you left meant something. What is yellow, Harry?”  
He sat in his chair as he closed his eyes to recall what a yellow rose meant. Aloud he said “Yellow roses . . . Joy, delight, welcome back, and new beginnings. Yellow roses are a good flower and have no dark meaning behind them. Therefore, it is a good omen. Now who the hell left it?” Bringing the rose to his nose he smelled it only to feel his stomach drop. The scent was not that of a rose but a woman’s perfume. “Y/N . . .” he barely even heard himself as he muttered your name “Y/N wore that”. 

Rising from his chair he grabbed his glasses and got in touch with Merlin because he needed to tell someone.   
“Are ye’ sure, Harry? I mean, it could be a prank from a sick bastard?”  
“I’m positive” Harry spoke fast “And the perfume? It is the same she wore. I loved the smell of it. I would recognize it anywhere.”  
Merlin walked back and forth in his own house “Okay, Harry, but anyone can get a perfume that smells just like hers?”  
“No, no. It was hard to find, she said.”  
“I believe you, Harry, do not doubt that. It just makes no sense.”  
“Nothing here makes sense, friend. Her suicide made no sense. She would never have done what she did, not really! And had she actually did it, well, she would leave a note. That’s what people do, right? Leave notes? She did not. Then this just a few days after I left the roses on her grave and the meaning behind the yellow-colored rose! Welcome back and new beginnings, maybe it is a code or a message.”  
“Harry, I-“  
“You think I am raving mad, I know. I feel as though there is something here.”  
Merlin sighed quietly to himself “Alright, Harry. I will try and set up cameras that cannot be interfered with, see if we can catch anything on them. Give me a few hours.”  
“Thank you, Hamish.”  
“You are welcome. Oh, and Harry? Please, I know that you want to think the best of this but do not get your hopes up all the way. If this turns out to be something a sick person is doing I don’t want you gettin’ hurt again.”  
“I cannot make that promise” he replied with hope in his voice “Talk soon”.

Merlin had done as he said and set up cameras that had a special program that would be hard to shut down. Sadly, nothing had happened for a few weeks and Harry began to wonder if Merlin was right about it being a prank. Harry had decided later that day he wanted to walk home instead of taking a cab as he normally does. “Fresh air would do me good,” he told himself “Clear my head a bit”. Only a few miles away from his home he noticed something new on the side of a building. Someone had spray painted a slightly large yellow rose on the bricks where Harry would see it. He froze in his tracks and blinked a few times to make sure he was actually seeing it. Above the yellow rose was a yellow monarch butterfly flying above it, Harry knew that this was no coincidence. It was a message, he said joyfully, and the other person sending it had to be you. Right? He ran the rest of the way home, burst through his house door and flipped open a book on meanings of colors of butterflies (another book you had gifted him). “A yellow monarch means something good is coming and next to the photo it says good omens. Something good is coming . . . Okay, what? What is coming?” Harry took the book to his kitchen, sat down at his table and glued his eyes to the meaning. A part of him did feel a bit stupid for believing in all of the meanings but he also was one to never deny that things like this could happen. As some people say “Strange things have happened before” and Harry believed this could be one of those strange events. He shut his eyes, smiled and sent out another message to you hoping that somehow you would hear it “Y/N . . . Where are you?”

This time Harry kept the paintings of the flower and butterfly a secret. He did not want Eggsy or Merlin to know right away because he wanted to dig into this himself. Find out what was happening, if anything, and then tell them. If Harry was being honest with himself, he also did not want his closest friends to think he had gone completely mad. Everywhere Harry went he kept his eyes wide open to look for signs. It had been quiet again for a few more weeks and he was worried but trying to push the worry away. Time . . . give it time. 

While Harry was wandering around near the shops to pick up supplies for his house he saw an elderly woman handing out flowers. A Cheshire grin made its way across his face as he approached her “Good afternoon, ma’am. Beautiful flowers you have.”   
She smiled back at him while she looked him up and down “Thank you, sir. Here, this one is meant for you!” The woman turned to grab the flowers off of her little cart. “It is very special, sir, it is calling out to me to gift to you” she sang with joy as she spun and outstretched her hands. Harry’s smile never faded when he took the flowers because he recognized them right away. Purple hyacinth . . . Named after the Greek boy that Apollo loved and lost. From the blood, Apollo made the flower and since that day people have used it to represent deep regret but more importantly, asking for forgiveness. He had told Y/N the story one night when he saw that she was reading about Greek myths. Obviously, she remembered.   
“Thank you so very much” Harry’s eyes lit up at the flower and the woman “May I give you something in return?”  
The woman shook her head “Oh no, sir, but thank you. When the flowers call out for a special person, I cannot accept anything. It was made for you, sir, meant and destined. I do not know the meaning behind it but I hope and feel that it brought you comfort.”  
Harry nodded “Ma’am, it has brought me an immense amount of comfort. I thank you.”   
A little girl ran up to look at the many flowers the elderly woman had to offer. Harry chuckled as the girl turned to her father and begged for the pretty pink flower in the back. His eyes met the woman’s and he thanked her once more before he left.

He knew now that you were out there . . . And you were incredibly close by. Still, he reminded himself, we cannot tell anyone just yet. You were only giving HIM messages, no one else, and he did not want to betray you by sharing what you left for him.

Harry arrived home, placed the hyacinth with the yellow rose and sat down at his desk in his study. He wanted to get a message to you but he knew not how to get ahold of you. After a few minutes of debating what he could do, he chose to copy your tactics. Late in the night when no one could see what he was doing because they all slept, he went to the spot where you had the yellow butterfly painted and painted another right next to it. There on the brick wall, next to the yellow monarch, rested a white butterfly next to a painting of edelweiss.


	3. Bullet to the head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You search for the man who forced your hand to see if you can finally come clean in Person to Harry. What you find shocks you.  
You are free.  
And you see Harry again but will things remain good?   
Or does this story not end happy, bruv?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Don't you know I'm no good for you?  
I've learned to lose you, can't afford to  
Tore my shirt to stop you bleedin'"
> 
> Billie Eilish "When the party's over"

A smile broke across your face when your laptop alerted you to new updates on Harry. You brought up the photos that were taken, grinned and looked up the meanings behind them. You loved tales, myths and all things of legends from all around the world, and the Japanese tale behind the white butterfly was touching. Selfless love . . . probably one of the best loves out there. An edelweiss next to the butterfly meant devotion, he was admitting his devotion to you and probably his trust that it was actually you. Now you had to find something else that could relate to both you and him, something he would know. Soon, you thought to yourself, but first, you had other work to do.   
___  
The man behind this all forced you to die by suicide. He knew that your death would ruin the government’s goal of getting to him. He said that you knew too much, saw too much and couldn’t handle or process any of it, that you ended your own life before handing over the information. And that the government would not want a thing to do with anymore for it was so dark it took down one the best agents they knew. He knew all this because he worked for the government. He was a corrupt man working with and for the government all while working for another, more sinister person. The man you needed to make sure was neutralized went by the codename Azazel. His real name was Richard Matthias. And he was incredibly vile, ruthless and not afraid to get his hands dirty. Azazel told you that if you refused he would kill Merlin, Eggsy and Harry Hart.   
“I will make Harry the last one, Y/N” he laughed sinisterly “And before I kill him, I’ll have just a little bit of fun with you. Make him watch as I make you bleed, scream and beg. He, too, will beg for me to stop. I will eventually but my attention will then be on him. And you’ll watch it. Slowly I will hurt him. It will be painful, I promise you that. Maybe I’ll start at his toes? Work my way up . . . Surgical tools to make incisions across his flesh. Choke him a bit, ya’ know? Rip out an eye, which sounds fun. Maybe I will spice it up. Use a bit of Sodium thiopental? See how he feels about you? Does he love you or hate you? I see the way he looks at you. Might act like a gentleman but his thoughts aren't so nice. He'd fuck you if he got the chance. And then you know what I'll do after he admits his thoughts? I'll kill him as you scream for me to stop. I’ll slice his fucking throat, come to you and hold your eyes open so that you watch him suffocate to death and choke on his blood” he shivered with excitement.   
“Please, don’t” your voice shook uncontrollably with horror at the visuals that flashed through your mind. He stepped toward you, his dark almost black eyes locked onto you while he laughs maniacally.   
“Well then, my friend, do we have a deal? You end your pathetic little life, truly fucking end it and I promise you that Harry Hart and the rest of the little Kingsmen don’t die by my hands.”  
“How the fuck do I know you will keep your word?” You stopped your voice from quivering.   
He gasped touching his chest “I am hurt, Y/N, you do not trust me?”  
You swallowed “You haven’t given me any reasons to trust you.”   
“I promise I won’t kill them. I will keep my promise if you keep yours. They will be safe and live to die another day by the hands of all the other monsters that live and walk in the shadows of darkness.”  
“Fine. . . I’ll do it. I’ll kill myself. I will corrupt the files and no one will know anything. No one will find out any information. And then I’ll go six feet below.”  
He clapped his hands together and sighed lovingly “Perfect! We have a deal” he started to sing “You will die, Harry will cry. Oh, what a cheerful day for me.”   
You bit your tongue trying to hold back the words that wanted to come out. Azazel, you thought, you’re one sick bitch, no wonder you got that codename. 

The day of your suicide came. You had done as you promised and corrupted the files. Making it impossible for anyone to fix them or get through but not too impossible that Merlin couldn’t find a way if he tried hard enough.   
You left behind every single thing you owned. Your phone, your kingsman glasses, and ring, the books, and records Harry got you . . . if you were going to “die”, you would not need these things where you were heading. And had you took anything it may have blown your true plan up. Before leaving your house you ran your hand across a photo of you and Harry that you had sitting on the bookshelf. It was of you two at a fancy hotel after a mission. He was wearing an incredibly wonderful blue striped suit and you wore a sparkling baby blue dress that almost matched him. You were at the bar with each other and he had ordered a martini for the two of you. Someone from the hotel snapped the photo, called you both a lovely looking couple as the photo developed, handed it to you and walked off. It was your favorite photo because Harry was looking at you with such love that you could cry. And you too were staring back at Harry with love and devotion. You would die for that man.   
You walked to the place you chose for your death. It was a park that you loved going to almost every day to watch the sunrise and set over the river. At this time of day, it was not busy but within a few hours, it would become packed. Sitting down on the bench overlooking the river a sad smile crossed your face. Every person you loved would believer for who knows how long that you were dead. Only one person you trusted with the “death” and that was a friend who would remain nameless for a while. This person knew what time and where you would be. They would act the part of a coroner, collect your body and make you disappear. A true, true friend indeed and a friend who was pure in heart enough to help, but a little dark to also lie. The sky started to change color as the sun rose up. A depressed sigh escaped your lips while your hands shook to grab the little vial that you stuffed inside your pocket.   
You and your mystery friend tried to think of ways that were good to kill you but not really . . . it hit you . . . Atropa Belladonna.   
William Shakespeare would have loved you in that moment because there you were faking your death for the man you loved just like Juliet faked hers. Opening the vial, you whispered a cheer to the wind and drank the potion of slumber. Sliding your phone out you called Harry. He answered with a cheerful “Hello!” and your heart broke into a million little pieces.   
“Hey Harry. I don’t have long; I just wanted to say I hope things go great for you today with Eggsy and Merlin.”  
“Thank you, Y/N. You will be the first person I tell after the events are done.”  
“Yeah? I can’t wa-wait” your speech started to slur as your eyes begged to be closed.  
“Are you alright? Y/N?” He sounded worried and you regretted making the call.   
“I’m good; tired . . . I’m just going to sleep for a bit. You be good, Harry” you didn’t give him time to reply as you hit the end call button. You tried to put the phone back into your pocket but your hands let go, as did the rest of your body, and you slid down on the bench. It would be a short rest for you and eternal sleep for the man who wished you dead. It was uncomfortable. Your heartbeat slowing was scaring you. And then it all went silent. 

Your final thoughts were of Harry.

\--------------

It was another rainy day as you walked down the streets dressed so people could not recognize you. Your hair was hidden so it looked shorter than normal and your clothes were a little baggy so no one could see if you were a man or woman just by a glance. The hood on your jacket was pulled up and you wore contacts to change your eyes along with glasses. The first few times you did this you freaked out when you walked past anything that showed your reflection. “Not me? Yes, me . . .” You hated every moment of it. 

After an hour's walk, you reached your destination. Azazel’s office. You knew you couldn’t enter because IDs would be checked and cameras in the building had special facial recognition. Couldn’t risk it. Instead, you got close to the building, sat down and turned on what regular people would believe to be an iPod. It wasn’t, however, it was designed to look like one but in reality it was a very useful spy tool. It had the ability to enhance conversations, to take photos along with facial recognition, and it had special codes to get you safely into Azazel’s office computer and cameras without being caught. 

Thank you, Merlin, you lovely man!

You entered the systems, got into the main cameras and the computer of the office where Azazel worked. The cameras were perfectly fine, everyone who was meant to be there was there and most of them were very decent people. Some even came to your funeral and cried alongside Kingsman. Then you looked into the computer files of Azazel and gasped in a mixture of shock and amusement. This office was no longer his! You bounced from that computer into the files from all the other computers until you found a file called Matthias. Opening it up you saw that the US government, along with a few friends, were watching him very closely after your death. He went from his safe environment to that of a war zone over by the borders of Syria. The visit was for “business” reasons and because he believed he would be safe there until things blew over. It wasn’t though and it proved to be a very stupid mistake on his part. He was in territory where all governments who wanted him dead could do JUST that. So, the US and the British went in, found him and sent in a group of specially trained men to kill him. In the report it says he reached for a weapon but was shot dead before he could cock it. Pictures were attached in the report and you felt a sick sense of delight upon seeing him with a bullet hole in his skull. A real bullet hole and none of that fake bullshit that some politicians feed people to give them a sense of relief. Richard or Azazel, whatever you wanted to call him, was now dead because he got too cocky, too greedy, and too dangerous; he slipped and then pissed off the wrong people. Or in your case, the right people, in that second you wanted to write a thank you letter to every person who shot the bastard dead. 

Tears raced down your face at the fact you no longer had to hide. He was gone for good and the others who worked below him would be too afraid to attempt anything. Their master was never coming back, therefore, their little brains couldn’t function. You shut the device off, pocketed it and ran to the nearest flower shop you could find. Walking around the store you felt yourself get more and more excited with the idea of going to Harry’s. The shop owner came up to you “Hello, how may I help you today? What is the occasion?”   
You grinned so wide that your cheeks hurt “Yes, umm, I have been gone for a while and I wanted to tell the man I love that I am sorry but I am back.”  
The owner nodded “ah, okay . . . let’s see” and began to grab different flowers. “Hyacinths! Lily of the valley! White orchid!” The owner smiled as they made the bouquet look stunning “How does it look?”  
You nodded “My goodness . . . it is so lovely! Thank you so much for your help. I truly do appreciate I” you said while you paid and left, once again running down the streets. You skidded to a halt when you by the used bookstore. Opening the doors to the shop, you walked fast to the section of the store that had poetry. Grabbing the one off the shelf you checked out and left. This time you ran faster, stopping for no one or anything. 

You reached his home while gasping for air. Nerves hit you hard when you approached his door. You stopped, leaned against the railing and took a deep breath in. He wouldn’t hurt you; Harry was not that kind of man. He replied to the signs you left for him, he cannot be too mad. Can he? You exhaled harshly, spun to face his door and knocked heavily on it. 

No answer.

“Shit, shit, shit!” you muttered under your breath. You knocked again and even harder this time. Nothing. You let out a whimper, felt a lump in your throat and your eyes start to sting. Bending down, you placed the flowers by the door and turned to leave. However, a few moments later the door opened. 

“I do so apologise. I was in the den on a call for work” he looked down at the flowers on his doorstep. You heard him, stopped in your place and smiled softly. Spinning back around, you held your head down, staring intently at the ground. You saw Harry pick up the bouquet. Soon, you were standing before him. Slowly you removed your hood, the hat and the clips that held your hair back. It fell down all over the place while a few fell in front of your face.   
“Hey, Harry Hart” you said barely above a whisper. His eyes were glued on you, his pupils were dilated and his breathing fastened.   
“Y/N . . . “ He stuttered.  
“The one and only!! In the flesh” you laughed as you tossed your hands in the air.  
“I thought you were dead for a while . . . And then I started getting these little signs. Flowers and butterflies. Things related to what only we talked about. I knew deep down after that you were not really gone . . . I just couldn’t find you. I looked. I used Merlin’s tech and Kingsman tech but no signs of you or where you could be. Merlin and Eggsy must think me insane but now, look! You are here and oh shit-“ he stopped talking.  
“What?” you chuckled after he cursed.  
“I am rattling on and on about this while you are standing outside. It is getting awfully cold, please, come in” he opened the door further and let you enter first.   
“Harry, I am sorry for all that I did.”  
He placed the flowers into a vase “I figured”.  
“I . . . “ you began to talk but he cut you off.  
“Why? And how? Most importantly, my love, why did you not come to me?”  
“Can we sit?”   
“Of course” he took your hand and the two of you walked into the living area. Both of you sat down and you started to tell him everything, from beginning to end. Complete word vomit. He never once interrupted you though. “And as you can see, I never told you because. . . “ you cried even harder now. Harry moved closer to you, wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into him, rubbing up and down your back to soothe you.  
“You kept me safe and out of the loop because you knew they’d kill me,” he said without question. All you could do was nod into his chest. His grip on you tightened. Harry was afraid to let you go. He was afraid that if he did you would disappear. A ghost. Picking up on why he was holding you so tight you told him with certainty “I am here, Harry. I am real and I am not going anywhere unless you tell me to leave. I’m not dead, I’m not dead, I’m here and I won’t ever leave you again” you snuggled your head into his jumper before freeing yourself from him. Carefully, you grabbed his hand and placed it over your chest to let him feel your heartbeat. A faint smile crossed his face. You returned it with a smile of your own.  
“This heart, Harry? Broke when I had to leave. It broke, even more, when I saw you at the grave, crying and placing flowers down on it. It broke when I heard you ask for me to come back. And then it shattered when I heard you whisper you loved me. This heart hurt but fought to get back here to you. And I was willing to kill the man who forced my hand. I should have from the beginning. This heart, Harry, it belongs to you if you want it. If you can forgive me, that is. It beats for you. It broke for you. It ached for you. And it longed for you.”

Harry held his hand over your heart for a bit before he spoke up “I do not think I am or ever was mad at you, Y/N. Now that I know why you did this. . . I see it was for protection and I would have done the same for you. I graciously accept your heart and love, if you accept mine?”  
You smiled your best smile while you inched closer to Harry’s face and softly placed your lips upon his.   
“I accept, of course, I do! What of Kingsman? The rules?”  
Harry returned the kiss by deepening it. He broke the kiss “Darling, fuck the rules. I will never let them stand between us again. Shall we be like Eggsy and Tilde?”  
“Hell yes” you giggled as you kissed him again “I want you. I’ve always wanted you.”  
The two of you kissed again before Harry felt something hard in your hoodie. “Mmfh, what’s that, dear?”  
“Oh! I got this for you too. I saw it a while back before all this happened. I want to read this poem for you!” You ripped the book out and flipped frantically for the page you wanted. 

“Ah, here it is” your E/C eyes glanced up to make sure he was listening. His beautiful milk coffee-colored eyes stared into yours with wonder and love.   
“Read it, darling” he softly encouraged you.

“Can you hear them?  
Little wings fluttering around you.  
Dancing through the skies,   
Both morning and night.   
Their wings of beautiful color,  
Represent every little thing I desire.  
My love for you, never-ending.  
My hopes for us, a happy ending.   
And my dreams, a future with you.  
While I was away,   
I sent a white butterfly your way.  
It held a message just for you.  
“I’m here, I’m here” it whispered into your ear.  
“I am never leaving for good, I will always return to you.  
For your heart, your soul . . . they are my home.”

Swallowing, you closed the book and handed it to him. He smiled, took the book and flipped through it.  
“I loved it, Y/N” he leaned forward and kissed your forehead. Glancing back towards an open page he read  
“The word will never end with you by my side.  
For you and I will walk this earth for eternity.   
Our love will never weaken but grow stronger.  
If for whatever reason we are ripped apart,  
I will find you, always.  
Our paths, though sometimes they fork, will always meet again.  
You belong to me and I belong to you.”

You laughed loud “I loved it, Harry, truly . . but I never really realized how corny it was.”  
He smirked as he closed the book “I have a few good poetry books you may love and I can promise you they are not corny. However, this is very much appreciated. I do love it and I will be placing it with the other books you have got me over time. Now, Y/N, a few more questions.”  
“Shoot” you reached for his hand and laced your fingers together.  
“When can we inform Merlin and Eggsy? And two, who is the mystery person who helped you?”  
“We can tell Merlin and Eggsy right away. As for the mystery person . . . well, maybe I should see if they want to be known.”   
“Fine. Let’s go, I’m calling a meeting” he stood with both your hands still laced together. In Harry’s den, he called Merlin and Eggsy with the glasses. He handed you a pair that upon further inspection actually belonged to you. His cheeks turned red “I took them from your place along with a few other items. Do forgive me.”  
“What other items?”  
“Your ring . . . and a photo of us at the hotel bar where you looked drop-dead beautiful” he kissed you softly just before the other two men answered. 

Merlin’s jaw dropped in surprise. Eggsy’s eyes got wide “You gotta’ be fuckin’ kiddin’ me! What the fuck, ‘Arry? She real?”  
Merlin added in “You were right, eh. . . I am sorry I didn’t believe ya’ sooner, Harry.”  
“It’s fine, Merlin and yes, Eggsy, she’s real.”  
“100% real” you curtsied which made them all grin.   
“We have a lot to discuss, are you all free to do so now? I wish for Y/N and I to remain here at my house for now.

“Aye, I’m free” Merlin replied with a sly smirk.  
“Of course ya’ fuckin’ want her there. I think we all know what ya’ plannin’ on doing after this ends” Eggsy laughed as he motioned a hand-job.   
“OI, Eggsy” you yelped “Don’t be such a perv.”  
“Awe, you know me, luv’. Can’t help it with true love and all. Maybe a little backdoor sur-“  
Harry cut him off “Eggsy, with all due respect, shut the fuck up” and he began to tell your story to the two men who freaked out at parts and got pissed at others.   
“Glad to have ye’ back, lass” Merlin said with hurt in his voice “I didn’t even think to try to get into the files. I can’t believe how dum-“  
“No, do not bash yourself, Merlin. It is fine, after all, I had to make them look trashed so I can see why you would think to not look.”  
Eggsy asked “Who helped you? Wasn’t me or Merlin. Obviously not Casanova over there.”  
You shook your head “Can you guys give me a few minutes of privacy? I want to call someone.”  
All three nodded. You excused yourself from the room and made the glasses private as you called your mystery friend.   
“They want to know who helped me. Can I tell them? Or shall this be our secret?”  
The voice on the other end questioned: “Will they be mad?”  
“No, no, in fact, they will probably adore you even more. Without you and your help, I would actually be dead.”  
A laugh “Sure, it’s fine for you to tell them.”  
“Alright, good!! Stay near your stuff and I will go back in to patch you through.”  
“Got you” the voice replied.  
“You always do.”

You entered the room again with Harry smiling and the other two men just watching.   
“I spoke to my mystery friend and they said it’s fine for me to tell you all who it is” you pressed a button on Harry’s watch which called another person into the meeting. For a second or two it was blurry but once it cleared up the men gasped.  
“Bloody fuckin’ hell! Roxy?!” Eggsy exclaimed.  
“Hello to you too, Eggsy. Evening, Merlin and Galahad. And welcome back from the dead, Y/N” she said with a wink.   
“Thank you again, Rox. I could not have done any of this without your help and your brains.”  
“We are Kingsmen, Y/N, we help each other out. Family.”  
Harry tried to hide the fact he wiped away a few tears “Roxy, thank you very much for all your help. I wish to reward you somehow.”  
“No please. Y/N being back is an award enough. Besides, I know that any of you would do the same for me.”  
Eggsy chuckled “I ain’t that smart, Rox.”  
“Hush, Eggsy, you can be if you try” she retorted.   
Merlin just smiled “Thank ya’, Roxy. Glad you are on our team.”  
After talking for a bit longer Harry ended the meeting.  
“Y/N should get some proper rest in a proper bed AFTER a proper warm meal. Merlin, Eggsy and Roxy? We will see you all soon. Thank you all.” Harry slide over to the door where you were leaning and wrapped his arms around your waist “Are you hungry, love?”  
You wrapped your arms around his neck “It is late, I can wait till-“  
“Not what I asked.”  
“I am” you mumbled as you hid your face in his jumper.   
He kissed the top of your head “I will make us some late dinner and tea. I will also grab some clothes of mine you can put on for bed. Shower, change and come to the kitchen when you are done.”  
‘Yes, sir” you said with a salute.  
“Do not let seeing Eggsy again rub off on you. Bad enough I have to deal with his sarcasm” Harry said with a wink.  
“Ah, his sarcasm? Oh baby, you mustn’t hear yourself sometimes when you speak. I think Eggsy just learned it all from you.”  
“Go bloody shower before I kick you out.”  
“You would never do that.”  
He rolled his eyes “You are right, although, there are first times for everything.”  
“Pleaseeeee” you kissed him softly a few times “I’ll behave and go shower like the good person I am. I’ll be down soon.”

Harry took out a dark royal blue jumper along with a pair of black sweats that he owned and placed them nicely on the bed. The water in the bathroom turned on and he quickly knocked “Y/N, clothes are on the bed. If you need me, call.”  
“Thank you, Harry” you replied quietly.  
The hot water brushed against your skin and a light moan escaped your lips. It was nice being in a warm home, with hot water and someone who cares for you. You were tired of the cold place where you had to hole up. The freezing water you used to clean yourself in. Being alone all the time too did not help. You could have sworn that if you had to stay hidden any longer that you would have lost what remained of your sanity. 

You turned the water off, dried yourself and changed into the clothes Harry left out for you. A smile crossed your face as you smelled them and how they smelled of Harry. You walked down the stairs, into the kitchen and stood silently observing Harry as he worked away at the stove.  
“Stop staring, Y/N” he smartly replied.   
You groaned “I like this view though.”  
“Sit” he motioned. He set the table and dished out the food. The two of you ate, talked, laughed and once the meal was finished you both cleaned up the kitchen.   
“Thanks, Harry” you hugged him “for everything.”  
“And thank you, my white butterfly, for coming back” he kissed your forehead, nose, and lips.   
You moaned as his lips parted away “No, please?”  
He laughed gently “We have time. I’ll sleep in the guest room if you want. My bed is-“  
“Please, sleep in the bed with me. I don’t want to be alone . . . maybe now that I am back and have you, the nightmares will stop. And besides, I want you near me.”  
“Only if you are certain” his eyebrows moved up in question.  
“Always the gentleman, Harry, I am most certain.” 

Harry rested on his back and you were cuddling up against him. The two of you were sleepy, no doubt at all, but you couldn’t help but start to kiss his neck. A light moan from him made you smiled against his skin and only encouraged you to do more. You moved so that you were on top of him, leaning down you kissed his lips and worked your way down to his neck and chest. His hands gripped you tightly “If we do not stop now, love, I fear that I will not be able to control myself.”  
“I don’t want to stop. You?” You kissed him again sliding your tongue in to meet his.  
He mumbled out a “no” before he began to wander your body. 

And the first in a very long time . . . .

Harry Hart and you slept well holding each other closely. 

There were no nightmares that night.


End file.
